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четверг, 25 октября 2012 г.

Confessions of the broken heart...

Today is going to be a more personal, kind of useless girly blog...It is quite rare you meet a person you can fully trust, who can completely understand and with who you can be yourself. If you meet him/her, all seems to go well, it's like, all depression, all fears, anxiety, loneliness and emptiness go away...There is no better feeling in the entire world, and the point of life sometimes seems to be in this one thing - to meet a person like this, to look in his eyes, and never let him go...But...nothing lasts forever, most of the times if it seemed you found a person, he all of the sudden turns to disappear. This happens in different forms, he either stops talking, becomes angry or quite or just leaves. All you used to feel: loneliness, emptiness, fear and anger comes back and you feel more unhappy you probably ever felt before. Nothing seems to take this pain away no matter how hard you try. You can search for different points to live, start doing yoga, travel etc. And pain seems to ease, but in times when night comes you see your pillow as your only friend, and you cry...You wanna be strong so you stay quite, with others you are still the same person: you laugh, you smile, you joke, but deep inside there is a hole...
If you never met a person like that all you want is to lay with him somewhere near the ocean, and only stars would lighten up your faces, and you don't need to talk, you know you just get each other, you completely know each other, you absolutely see each others' hearts. It lasts one moment, but all you want in life is at least to live in that moment, you long for this moment, somewhere deep inside you wait for it. I often imagine how this is happening, how everything seems to be so unimportant in comparison with that eyes...Eyes of your best friend, maybe your lover, maybe second half, who knows...No matter who he is we know and love each other too well to hurt...
I was writting this listening to this song:

Everyone feels different, but I hope you still can relate to this...
Your Anya

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