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понедельник, 20 февраля 2012 г.

On the edge...

Recently there have been many talks about teenagers, who commited suicide here in my place, and I can't stay away from this topic. In my videos I talked about my parents, they drank pretty much all my childhood and while I was a teenager. My mom used to tell me she wanted me to die many many times, and the more she told it, the more I wanted to die, it hurt worse every time, cos every time I hoped it would never happen again. I always wanted her to love me and could not understand why things were happening that way, I did not feel that much hatred toward her, only pity to myself, constantly asking myself a question why...Those times I just wanted to die, I wanted I did not exsist, and there were times I wanted to kill myself...
Same thing goes with bullying. There was a guy at school who constantly humiliated me. I tried to get along with him, as it was my wish, same as with my mom, I wished he liked me, but the more I wished for it, the more it hurt me when he was making fun of me, we had a lot of fights as well, and at school I tried to stay strong, but when I came back home, I felt broken inside, I did not wanna go to school again, and I again asked myself a question why...
If you kind of feel the same way, going through same things or similar, or worse, please know, you are not alone. There are few things you can do about your problem:
1. If you are bullied, talk to someone you trust: your parents, teachers, friends or any other persons. Don't be afraid to look weak, and don't be afraid to cry, cos this is what everyone does, and you are not alone in this. Crying doesn't prove you are weak, it only proves you are a human being, who can feel.
2. If there is noone around you or it seems like noone understands you or pushes you away, if you are reading this, you have Internet, there are a lot of people who can inspire you, give you hope, show you and prove you you are not alone, we all have been through the same things, and we are stronger when we are not dealing with this alone.
3. Build up your own confidence and know that hard times in life is normal and temporary. I guess there are things in life we can't change, can't change our parents, can't change our circumstances, but we can change our way of thinking and the way we look at things. If you look at only good examples, at people who overcame difficulties, stayed strong and achieved happiness in life, you will find a perpose of your own life. You did not come here to die, you came here to live and find happiness within yourself, not always around you.
4. Learn to see the difference between good and bad: everything that keeps you away from life and happiness is bad! When people tell you: you should prove your parents wrong by ending your life, it is a WRONG! statement. You can not prove anything to anyone by not existing, by giving up. Not giving up will make you stronger and help you overcome anything in life. And you will do it not for someone but for yourself!

What helped me in my life was my faith in Lord. He has been my friend for all my life and has never let me down.
It's not like I am making someone to make any decisions but if you have nothing to lose and you are feeling like you are in the edge: try to put your trust on Lord and see what happens.

Here are so many people that blog, share their stories, make videos just to let you know, you are not alone, we all have been through this, we care about you, we are with you,
Hope this helps,
Lots of love,
Anya

1 комментарий:

  1. I am so glad you stopped by. It is amazing how connected we all are.
    Don't worry the blogging won't stop and you shouldn't either. You have a message to share and you should keep on sharing it.

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