Dealing with neurosis

I found out I have neurosis like 5 years ago and since then my life started to change. Emotions always could take over me, but then, they could literally rule my life: stomach pain, headache, constant tension in the body, - yes, neurosis does hurt you not only mentally but physically. I started to attend psycologyst, read and try to learn more about this issue as it was really ruining my life. For like a year or two all I wanted was to get rid of neurosis and be happy until I realized that it was a part of me that I could better adjust to than fight with. Fighting with it, basically with myself, trying to control my emotions, to stop my body reactions caused even more pain, and I started to learn to adjust. I am still learning. It is better now, when I know I can deal with it, it does not control me, but it's not like I control it either. Feeling it doesn't contol me makes me feel free and a lot happier than I ever was before. Working on my daily thoughts and observing why I feel a certain way has helped me out within my journey to healing. I am not 100% healed but I feel better. And if you are reading this now, know that you are not alone and we can't be healed.
Lots of love,
Anya
p.s. love of my life, makes me smile every single day:)