суббота, 25 мая 2013 г.

Life transformation

I used to be a really depressive person, I can be honest now, because I first had to be honest to myself. It's not only that I was a depressive teenager, I was sad and melancholic (if I can use this word right here) since my teen age until probably 23-24 (I am 28 now). I used to think that all in my life went wrong and I was a pretty unhappy person. I could blame people around me for that, I could blame myself, but it was more than I thought it was: it was my own choice to feel that way. Sounds like I went crazy? Probably! I decided to take responsibility for my life 4-5 years ago, when I realized that noone was going to help me but me. Help in what? In my being constantly unhappy and blaming circumstances for that. I started to have anxiety and panic attack and it was all influencing my health. This pic was taken when I was a teen:) As seen my pose is really expressing my mood at that time:)
Before (18)
Obviously in life you have to go through some period of time that will either make you or brake you, so I am happy that I had the experience in my life, that made me stronger.
You have to make a choice though where you wanna move from now on. And my choice was learning and changing. Through my learning process I realized that all we feel in our heart is our choice, but to realize it is not enough, the key is acting. Transformation takes time. You obviously have to work with yourself in terms of what you feel and why you feel it. Our reactions became our habits and we tend to call them "natural". What I believe in is that natural is to be happy. Of course we won't stop feeling pain when someone dies, or when we see the pain of others, but through changing our own lives we can help other much more if we want to. There is no use in feeling pain for others and do nothing for them, I guess.
I will keep blogging, because I hope it can help someone transform their lives, but first of all it helps to transform mine.
After (28):)

Love, Anya

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