Forgive everyone who has ever hurt you

I told like too many times that I grew up in the family of 2 drinking guys - my parents, there were also some other people to come over and make this party never stop. My mom used to leave me at home alone a lot, my dad had to work and after work he often got drunk. There were happy moments: like spending time together, going for walks, taking pictures together, playing games, etc. But after all, some bad moments got stuck in my memory much more than the good ones for many many years. Seems like those memories were poisoning my soul: I grew up as a depressed, lonely and unhappy person full of fears and anxiety. It had a lot to deal with my mom's mood that was constantly changing while I was growing up, it was like a roller coaster: one day she loves you, and another day she seems to hate you, and says she wants you to die. You don't know why it is happening when you are a child, and I blamed it on me a lot, I had a huge pity to myself and lacked confidence. All this made me almost hate my parents and constantly repeat those moments in my mind to remind myself how unhappy I was until I decided to say: STOP! When your brain is constantly working on a mode: "I am the unhappiest person in the world" it can be hard to change into something else, as it just become a habitual thinking, and becomes a huge part of your life perception. 

I guess one of the most important things I have done for myself in life was forgiveness of my parents. As I said blaming my parents for all the bad stuff I had in my life was poisoning not only my brain but also my body. I had moments when I wanted to die cos I wanted them to feel pain of losing me in their lives. But at the end of the day, it's you who suffer the most from unforgiveness. You can't be happy cos your mind tells you: I had a bad childhood, noone loves me, my life is always gonna be the same, etc. Unforgiveness can be related with your parents, siblings, friends and so on. Whatever it is, let it go. It is a long hard process, but what helped me a lot was realisation that I wanna do this for myself in order to heal my pain and be happy in life. Noone else is gonna do this for you. And if you wait all life just for people to come to you and say: "I'm sorry for the pain I made you feel", 1st you can wait all your life and still not get it, 2nd even if you get it, you will understand it was not worth it cos you wasted so much time and energy on blaming those people, 3rd no matter what they say or do, you can still have peace already now, and than if they say sorry, you are going to feel better, but don't let your life be dependant on someone saying or doing certain things. Choose transforming your life already now! Let go your past, and concentrate on your present. 

At the end of the day the "blame-game" is only pulling you back!

If you have any questions, please leave a comment below or send me a message,

Remember, I care for you and always will!

Love,

Anya

Awareness - first step to transformation!

When you first realize you don't feel comfortable in your life, you see there is nothing you can do about others or situations you are in, you are slowly starting being aware of your own mental disorder (do not get scared of this name, I am going to use it here cos it is easy:) Although sometimes I am seriously ready to say I have a mental disorder...So, once you are aware, there is something with you that can be changed and the only one who can change it is you, your transformation starts. 

Only you can help yourself feel better. All your reactions can be based on your believe systems that you created through years and years but what you can do is to change those of them that ruin your life and don't let you move on. 

But there is a rule #1 - to be sure there is something in you that needs to be changed and there is 

#2 - you need to want to change it! Once you get those, you solved all your problems by 50%. Be sure 100% this is the truth and don't doubt. There can be times in your life you will doubt yourself, that you can do it, if you can move on, etc. It is important to remind yourself every day you CAN do it, this is your NEW BELIEVE system, and it has to be stuck in your head. 

Check out my new video from TRANSFORMATION SERIES here:

Love,
Anya